The project I’m currently working on has reached 65,114 words. I started it on April 1st, so I’ve been averaging about 1,050 words a day — which is the most I’ve written in a long long long time. I’m getting to a point where I am considering introducing a bit of drama that leads to the climax and start tying some of these loose threads together.

The problem is that this book is quite a bit, how do the booktokers put it? Spicy. It’s not all smut by any means like some other books out there, but we’re twenty two chapters in and there’s at least four sex scenes. Most of what I write and publish under my own name doesn’t have that level of heat, so if I were to put it under my name it may come as a bit of a shock and result in Reader Betrayal. Gail Carriger wrote a lovely blog about this back in 2017 that covers a lot more about what that is and why established authors might choose to go the pen name route. Stephen King has done it. She who must not be named also did it. I’m sure there are others out there, but unfortunately those are the only two examples I can think of at the moment.

The fact that my husband and I are both advisors for local (we’re talking teenage to young adult level) youth groups is another reason why I’m considering going the pen name route. While the members of the boys group aren’t big readers, the girls definitely are. The last thing I want is for one of them to pick it up and for us to get chewed out at the next monthly meeting (even though its up to the parents to keep an eye on what their kids are reading… not the author) Plus there are things in this story that my extended family might make assumptions about because they thrive on gossip. There are sections of the family who still believe that we moved to Washington to escape medical debt left over from when our Kiddo was born because they don’t understand that debt follows you no matter what state you live in. When a cousin bought a new house years ago they spent months gossiping about how they probably won the lotto because how else could they afford such a nice house? Anywho, they’ll probably see that the main character has two husbands and engaging in certain acts with said husbands and assume things about my husband and I.

Plus, at the ripe old age of 42, I am still terrified of my mother and her reaction to reading about said things. But then, she did accuse me of plagiarizing my first book, so who knows if she’ll actually believe that I wrote this way.

All of these factors is why I am seriously considering publishing this under a pen name.

Unfortunately that means I have to start rebuilding my following on certain sites from the ground up, because I haven’t published or done ANYTHING with either of my pen names in nearly ten years (actually it has been ten years since I’ve used the one… possibly longer since I used the other) Because all of my primary social media accounts are under my legal name, and have family following them, I can’t just change profile names and I can’t just say ‘Hey, go follow me over here under this other name’ because then family and friends might see. I also can’t really show my own face because then people might recognize me.

On the flip side, if this really takes off, does that mean that now I should publish everything under said pen name? I have been blogging about the Descendants for so long that I can’t imagine not publishing that under my own name.

So what’s a girl to do?

Slowly go crazy and spend more time worrying about this than actually writing. That’s what.

Anywho, I’ve started trying to resurrect one of my old pen names. I’ve created a TikTok for it, and a blue sky account. I’ve logged back into the old blog and I’m considering buying a domain name for it. I have to say, it’s shocking how much I shared on that blog without putting anything behind a cut or a paywall, so I’ve been going through and fixing that. I’ve also started tweaking the formatting of the lone book that was put out under that pen name, and tinkering with the plot line just a smidge. I tend to ignore the fact that that book ever happened, which is a shame because it’s honestly not that bad of a book. Just a bit hard to classify, because it’s steampunk, and there’s smut, but it’s not a romance – it’s a mystery.

And that’s all the news that’s fit to print.

Come back next week to see more waffling over the should I?/Shouldn’t I? pen name debate.